I have been thinking about the many comments I have received about my kids and their behavior. I am very proud of my kids. They have grown into such loving, respectful, obedient, content young ladies. I have people ask me how they turned out like this. When I tell them that at least two of the three are very strong willed children they look at me like I am joking around. I tell you that two of my children that Dr. Dobson wrote about in his book the strongwilled child.
I don't pretend to have all the answers.....quite frankly I don't have any of the answers. I will speak to what I believe and you can take it or leave it. In Matthew 5:37 it says to let your yes be yes and your no be no. This talks of your character as a christian but I relate this back to the parent as well. My thoughts are as follows:
1. Try to say yes as much as possible. Trust me you will have plenty of opportunities to say no.
2. Try to stay away from vague answers just to pacify your child (I am bad at this one)
ex. Maybe
We'll see (my favorite)
let's just wait
ask your mother/father
I don't know
3. Don't say no just out of convenience. You need all the chances you can to enjoy time with you kids. Suck it up and say yes.
4. Can I say yes.... Does it create any permanent results? Does it tarnish yours or their witness? Does it go against scripture or God's own heart? If the answers are no then say yes....
5. When it is important enough to say no, then it is important enough to see it through. When you say no then you must come out on the winning end. If you give in ONCE after you say no then your child (no matter how young) will relate that to your no means nothing and they think if they go against you long enough that you will cave.
6. Consistency, Consistency, Consistency
Again I am not claiming to be a guru but I just speak what I TRY to do with my own kids. Some thoughts to think about anyway.
6 comments:
I was thinking about this exact same thing the other day....In fact,I started to shoot your wife an email and specifically ask...but you read my mind.Thank you.
By the way,Does not saying "we'll see" comment count if you have a child who is asking for something for birthday or christmas everyday-and that or "maybe" is your answer?LOL
I was more refering to when you know the answer is going to be no and you just take the less confrontational way out.
Oh okay....LOL.Great Post!!!!!
Can you start a Files' Childrens Camp?
Seriously, I love your thoughts, our biggest problem here is CONSISTENCY.
I am the "mean" one that means what I say. Daddy is "sway-able" and the poses BIG problems here!!
I need to come take lessons. Shelley says so many good things about ya'll. My problems are D all of the above.
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